I've been working on cleaning out Kristen's room. It's been a difficult process, one that I've had to work through in small doses. Tiny clothes and blankets and stuffed animals have all been packed into plastic tubs. Special mementos have been stored for now. So many tears have been shed.
I removed the last of the wallpaper border tonight. The cute little frogs and turtles no longer dance their way around the room.
I picked out the crib set before we knew Kristen was a girl. There was just something sweet and calming about those frogs and turtles. There wasn't much girly about them, but they just seemed right. The set went perfectly with the light blue ceiling and yellow gingham wall treatment I had done for Emily's "Tweety" room years before. (One of the few hand-me-downs that Kristen got from either of her sisters was her room!)
I sat countless times in the rocking chair in Kristen's room before she was born, soaking in the soft hues of blue, yellow and green, praying that she would be okay. I had no idea that 2 years later I would be scraping from the walls the border that a dear friend helped me put up.
Her room is now my office/sewing room/craft room. I can actually leave the door open, and I don't fall apart every time I enter. My computer desk now sits near where "Peppermint" the rocking horse used to sit. I still have painting to do and more organizing of all the things that have found their way into this room. The room color is going to be a very, very light shade of green. It's called "Lil' Sprout." I was drawn to the color because it gave me the same feeling that the crib set did. When I turned the paint sample over and read the name, I knew it was the one. (One of my nicknames for Kristen was "Lil' Stuff.")
There's a section of the border tucked into my memory box, but just one frog remains as it was:
Some days, he makes me smile. Other days, he triggers an ache in my soul. Even so, just one frog stays.
I miss you, Lil' Stuff. ♥