One step forward, two steps back

I ordered Kristen’s grave marker today. There’s a whole round of tears just surrounding that.

I’m angry. I’m heartbroken. Kristen’s last hours keep playing over in my head, and I can’t seem to make that “tape” stop. I’m just having a tough time right now. Some days it feels like I’m making some progress, and then I find myself right back where I was. It’s very discouraging to feel like I’m going backward.