Romans 12:12 is a verse that God planted firmly in my mind many weeks before Kristen was even born.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
During those uncertain weeks as we waited for news on the mass in Kristen's chest, after each sonogram and specialist visit, I did my best to be "joyful in hope" and "faithful in prayer."  It wasn't always easy.  There were times I would leave the doctor's office and cry the whole way home.  I wanted  someone to tell me my baby would be fine, that the mass they had found was shrinking.  There were times that I did hear that, only to hear something very different from another doctor.  Those many weeks in early 2009 were a very literal roller coaster ride.

As difficult as those weeks were, they were completely overshadowed by the pure joy of Kristen's safe arrival in May.  My faithful prayers of asking God to give me the strength to deal with whatever might lie ahead were followed by grateful prayers of thanksgiving.  Little did I know that the middle part of the verse that I had written on a sticky note and placed on my side of the bedroom mirror would one day call out to me.  "Patient in affliction" began to call out to me quite loudly last fall.

This season of grief has stirred up some strong emotions in me.  Patience hasn't really been one of the qualities that has come about as a result.  I've lacked a patience with friends, with my family, and with myself.  Perhaps I've hidden it well, but I've been anything but content and without complaint.

I know I don't have to like what's transpired since last August (and I don't), but I do have to continue to trust that God knows what He's doing (and I do).

Right now, I'm asking God for patience.  And if you're in a season of grief and not feeling especially patient, either, I pray that He grants you an extra measure of patience, too.  May we learn to be patient with those around us who say the wrong things (or don't say anything).  May we learn to be patient with those closest to us, realizing that each day is a gift to be treasured.  May we learn to be patient with ourselves, understanding that grief knows no time line and our journey through it is as unique and different as each one of us.

I've since replaced the sticky note with a more permanent version.
(Love the Cricut vinyl!)


Emily said...

Hi Mom! Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. Love you lots!

Kim @ Peace of my Heart said...

Thank you so much, sweet daughter of mine! I love you more! :)

Jo said...

What a wonderful web page! Kristen is beautiful! (as are all you Eckle girls)I can't imagine the roller coaster ride you talk about and wish I was better at telling you all how much and how often you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know I am awkward at expressing it and if I ever offend or hurt you, be sure it was not meant for harm. Love to you all! Jo

Celia said...

Hey kiddo,
Just wanted to say I love you, I have been bad about saying that lately and I am sorry about that. I keep you and your wonderful family in my prayers at all times.
Love you lots!!!!

Kelly said...

Your heart shines through so beautifully on this site, sweet Kristen. This is a beautiful post and a great verse. It is obvious that you are trusting the Lord, despite the pain you're experiencing.

Love and prayers for you...

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

OOPs...the previous comment was from me. I was signed into my other account! =)

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