Sometimes there just are no words...


I'm not sure where my words have gone, but they just don't flow from my fingertips to the keyboard like they once did.  I used to be able to pour out my heart here and feel a kind of release in doing so.  My heart is in knots over lots of different things right now, and the words just aren't there.

Kristen's 3rd birthday was 3 weeks ago.  We spent the day together as a family, remembering our littlest girl and making memories with our two older girls.  It's one of the most bittersweet days of the year.

In honor of Kristen's birthday, we sent 30 bears to Children's Mercy Hospital, to be distributed to bereaved parents as they reach the 6-month mark following the death of their child.  No, it's not pleasant to think about, but the fact is that children die.  They leave behind parents and siblings whose lives are never the same.  Those families ache to have someone remember them, to remember their sweet child, months and years down the road.  My hope is that the little knitted bear they receive will be a reminder that someone cares...and that God cares.

So many of my friends helped to work on those bears.  Over the course of four months, they knit, stuffed and stitched.  They donated supplies, time and food.  They supported a cause close to my heart and supported my own broken heart in the process.  The really beautiful thing is that, whether they know it or not, many of them continue to do so.

I will close with a collection of photos.  Maybe they will speak louder than the words that seem to escape me.

Our "Peace of my Heart" birthday cake
(Emily made the bear out of Rice Krispie treats;
Grace drew the dove from our logo)

Kristen's birthday wreath

Balloon release

Our matching wristbands read, "Forever in my heart"

Kristen's tree

Grace decorated my water bottle with the Peace of my Heart logo

Delicious burgers at a cute little place in Lindsborg

Near The Old Mill Museum

On the hunt for a geocache

Coronado Heights

Some of the bears before packaging

The birthday bear I made for my desk

Bears for CMH

More bears for CMH
Bears packed and ready for the trip to KC
(Thanks to Bryan & Angie!)

2009 Memory Quilt
1st Floor across from the CMH Chapel

I love you, Little Stuff ♥


Jennifer said...

Tears...sending lots of love your way!!!!

Kristy said...

Wow! Those bears are truly beautiful and I know that hurting families will treasure them and be blessed by having their child remembered.

Melissa said...

Beautiful memories and those bears are just precious.

April Starkey said...

oh this is so heartbreakingly beautiful! My heart goes out to your family! Your precious daughter was beautiful! I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I absolutely LOVE your idea of not only sending something to the hospitals for families but having them wait until 6 months to send it out...genius because that is when you feel like everyone has forgotten. Perfect time to receive something in the mail! <3 my baby girl's 1 year anniversary in heaven is coming up here on june 6th. We made birthday in heaven cards and letters to send out to family and friends and also have partnered with Missing Grace foundation to do Ohio's Annabelle's Hope & Hearts run (5k run, memorial walk, kids fun dash and ceremony/balloon release) on Oct. 6th and its named after our baby girl and we will be able to help so many other families through this! I am so glad I found your blog! I absolutely love your quote/motto at the top! beautiful!

Anonymous said...

So many beautiful ways to honor the life of your sweet little girl. Sending you peace. Take care.

Kim Eckels said...

Thanks, Jennifer!

Kim Eckels said...

I appreciate your kind words, Kristy. These bears have been good for me, too.

Kim Eckels said...

Six months out was so hard for me. I know everyone is different, but I thought that it might be a good rule of thumb for the bears. Thanks for the confirmation on that! Know that I am thinking of you as Annabelle's 1st birthday approaches. Those days leading up to "the" day can be so very, very hard. I pray that they are as gentle as possible for you.♥

Kim Eckels said...

Thanks, Melissa!

Kim Eckels said...

Peace to you as well. ♥

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Kim...praying for you and sending love. So sorry I haven't been by to check up on you in awhile. Life is very busy, but you are often on my mind. I love your beautiful bears and the bear project you do in honor of your sweet baby girl, Kristen. She is so beautiful...and I think that each time I visit your blog. Happy 3rd heavenly birthday, Kristen. Love to you, Kim.

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