Max

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Thanks to all of you who kept us in prayer last weekend.  The trip was very long, but my mom's service was nice and gave me the opportunity I needed to say goodbye to her.  It wasn't easy, but it was good.  I'm so grateful to my dad for going with us.  Since he and my mom divorced over 30 years ago, my dad felt a little awkward about going.  Understandable.  But, my mom's family really wanted to see him (and his oldest brother is married to one of my mom's sisters).  It worked out well, and it was nice to see family that I haven't seen in many, many years.  Through the CaringBridge book I made a few months ago, I was able to share Kristen with them.  And I was actually able to respond to the question, "How many children do you have?" with a smile, no tears, and a proud, "I have three beautiful daughters."

Something inside my dear husband snapped while we were in Iowa, and he gave the okay for a dog.  And not just a dog, but an INSIDE dog (I'm still in shock)!  The girls are beyond excited, and frankly, with the sadness that has blanketed our family this past year, it's a welcome change of pace.  We visited the puppy this week (a miniature schnauzer named "Max") and will bring him home in about a week and a half.
Maxwell the mini schnauzer

It's with a certain amount of dread that I've anticipated the month of August this year.  Kristen left us on August 17; my mom on August 21.  Perhaps it will be that the days leading up to those dates will be harder than the days themselves.  I feel like the emotional roller coaster has started again with the twists and turns that often leave a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Nothing will ever take away the memory of Kristen...no amount of activity, no puppy (no matter how cute), nothing.  But if this little creature can make the days ahead just a little easier for all of us, I will be thankful.


5 comments:

Karin said...

It sounds like your trip was a good one...smiles through the tears. And the puppy is cute. :)

For me, anticipation has been worse than the thing I'm anticipating, like you mention. My mind can be my own worst enemy sometimes, with the way it spins.

I hope you find peace through it all, and the days come to feel just a bit lighter.

Jennifer said...

Awww, Max is adorable!
I am glad you have some closure with your mom's death. I think it was great of you dad to put aside his insecurities and be there for you! Wow, that speaks volumes! Sounds like he is to be admired. I will be praying for you so often in these next few weeks. Oh how I hope God gathers you in closer and holds you tighter for these upcoming days. Love and hugs!

Lori said...

JUST LOVE that sweet little Max!!! (Of course, I am TOTALLY biased...I love all pups!)

I was praying for your trip to your mom and anticipating how difficult it could be. So glad that you were able to have some peace and some impacting moments!!

Lori said...

I am glad you wrote about being able to claim three daughters proudly. I am still working out my answer to, "if you have 2, where is your other daughter?" I haven't crafted the perfect answer yet. Anyhow, thank you for reading about my sweet Megan and offering great encouragement. He whispers in my ear daily.

elena said...

I am glad you were able to get the opportunity to say goodbye to your mother. *hugs*

What a cute puppy.

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